Devil's Advocate
Issue date: 11/19/08 Section: Features
Dear Devil's Advocate,
I know a lot of people ask you relationship questions, but I desperately need help! There is this girl in my class who is pretty cool and I like her a lot.
We make small talk before and after class, but I am the one who has to initiate the conversation every time. I was going to ask her out, but then I found out that she has a boyfriend from back home.
Home for her is far away, but I still didn't think I should ask her out if she's got a boyfriend. I could say it's my morals, but it's mostly just because I figured she would say no and I am not a fan of rejection. So, I stopped initiating conversation and kept a distance.
But now, she keeps talking to me and I can't shake the feeling that I should ask her out.
Half of me can't help but think that maybe she thinks about me the way I think of her.
When I think of that, then I consider going for it and asking her out. The other half thinks I shouldn't because of her boyfriend back home. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Quizzical Quinn
Dear Quinn,
This is a tough situation. It's never easy to make the first move and ask a girl out, but throwing a boyfriend into the mix just makes it that much harder. The way I see it, you have three choices.
Your first choice would be to stop. Stop everything. Stop thinking about her. Stop wondering if she likes you. Stop wondering if she is sick of her boyfriend.
Stop contemplating if you should ask her out. Stop brushing your teeth every day just to impress her. Well, maybe you shouldn't stop that one.
Your second choice is to sheepishly make conversation with her every time you see her. Never make a move on her out of respect for her boyfriend. Wait for something to happen.
Maybe she will break up with her boyfriend in a couple months. Maybe she will just ask you out after a couple weeks.
Or, maybe you will end up not seeing her again after the semester is over and you won't have to worry about her anymore.
I know a lot of people ask you relationship questions, but I desperately need help! There is this girl in my class who is pretty cool and I like her a lot.
We make small talk before and after class, but I am the one who has to initiate the conversation every time. I was going to ask her out, but then I found out that she has a boyfriend from back home.
Home for her is far away, but I still didn't think I should ask her out if she's got a boyfriend. I could say it's my morals, but it's mostly just because I figured she would say no and I am not a fan of rejection. So, I stopped initiating conversation and kept a distance.
But now, she keeps talking to me and I can't shake the feeling that I should ask her out.
Half of me can't help but think that maybe she thinks about me the way I think of her.
When I think of that, then I consider going for it and asking her out. The other half thinks I shouldn't because of her boyfriend back home. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Quizzical Quinn
Dear Quinn,
This is a tough situation. It's never easy to make the first move and ask a girl out, but throwing a boyfriend into the mix just makes it that much harder. The way I see it, you have three choices.
Your first choice would be to stop. Stop everything. Stop thinking about her. Stop wondering if she likes you. Stop wondering if she is sick of her boyfriend.
Stop contemplating if you should ask her out. Stop brushing your teeth every day just to impress her. Well, maybe you shouldn't stop that one.
Your second choice is to sheepishly make conversation with her every time you see her. Never make a move on her out of respect for her boyfriend. Wait for something to happen.
Maybe she will break up with her boyfriend in a couple months. Maybe she will just ask you out after a couple weeks.
Or, maybe you will end up not seeing her again after the semester is over and you won't have to worry about her anymore.
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