Torch Reads
Don't Be That Girl
Lilla Argento, Staff Writer
Issue date: 2/13/08 Section: Features
Attention unattached ladies: some of you may have reached the peak of frustration this week. There are little pink hearts everywhere, cupid-arrows afloat, red roses galore, and the magical L-word on everyone's lips. You try not to sound like "the Grinch of V-Day," however, while everyone else is all lovey-dovey, you simply cannot grasp why you haven't found your prince charming.
"Is it me?" you wonder.
Well, according to Dr. Travis L. Stork, the alluring star of The Bachelor: Paris, that is a keen possibility. In his book, Don't Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confidant, Rational Girl Within, Stork uses his personal experience and professional knowledge to expose the behaviors of the unpleasant "that" girl-- behaviors that ultimately damage relationships and unfortunately squirt a bit of Man-Repellant onto you.
She may be the "Insecure Girl" who feels uncomfortable in her own skin, the "Yes-You-to-Death Girl" who agrees with her boyfriend 100 percent to avoid conflict while swallowing her own thoughts or the "Working Girl" who is career obsessed and uncommitted to anything else. She could also be the animated "Drama Queen" who enlivens at the sound of gossip or conflict, or the "Bitter Girl" who has been hurt before and has therefore built a wall around her heart.
Through describing an array of pitfalls which women tend to fall into, Stork not only gives advice on how to combat these weaknesses, but also keys readers into "dead giveaways" that they send off to men which consequently brush them away.
"You can be the most beautiful woman in the entire city, but if you approach the men you meet with brutal honesty, no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners attitude, you will only succeed in scaring off the good ones. I know it's too tempting to rationalize that sort of behavior by telling yourself you're sick of playing games and want to be straightforward. But please, just for one moment, imagine if a guy you'd only known a week or so told you that he was a one-woman man and he expected a one-man woman, so if you're dating around, well, this just isn't going to work for him. If you're not a little afraid, then I'm afraid for you," he writes.
"Is it me?" you wonder.
Well, according to Dr. Travis L. Stork, the alluring star of The Bachelor: Paris, that is a keen possibility. In his book, Don't Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confidant, Rational Girl Within, Stork uses his personal experience and professional knowledge to expose the behaviors of the unpleasant "that" girl-- behaviors that ultimately damage relationships and unfortunately squirt a bit of Man-Repellant onto you.
She may be the "Insecure Girl" who feels uncomfortable in her own skin, the "Yes-You-to-Death Girl" who agrees with her boyfriend 100 percent to avoid conflict while swallowing her own thoughts or the "Working Girl" who is career obsessed and uncommitted to anything else. She could also be the animated "Drama Queen" who enlivens at the sound of gossip or conflict, or the "Bitter Girl" who has been hurt before and has therefore built a wall around her heart.
Through describing an array of pitfalls which women tend to fall into, Stork not only gives advice on how to combat these weaknesses, but also keys readers into "dead giveaways" that they send off to men which consequently brush them away.
"You can be the most beautiful woman in the entire city, but if you approach the men you meet with brutal honesty, no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners attitude, you will only succeed in scaring off the good ones. I know it's too tempting to rationalize that sort of behavior by telling yourself you're sick of playing games and want to be straightforward. But please, just for one moment, imagine if a guy you'd only known a week or so told you that he was a one-woman man and he expected a one-man woman, so if you're dating around, well, this just isn't going to work for him. If you're not a little afraid, then I'm afraid for you," he writes.
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