Devil's Advocate
Weekly advice with a devilish twist
Issue date: 2/13/08 Section: Features
Dear Devil's Advocate,
So, as you know, Valentine's Day is almost here and I have a problem. I am in a relationship with this guy, but in all honesty, I am not happy with how things are. I want to get out of it, but I feel like it's not right to break up with him right before Valentine's Day. Talk about poor timing right? At the same time, though, I really don't want to have him take me out on some romantic date and buy me this nice present. I just want to get out of the relationship, but should I wait until a little while after Valentine's Day has passed?
Sincerely,
Loveless Liz
Dear Liz,
Here is what you should do: Get him to take you out on the greatest Valentine's Day date ever. I'm talking about a dinner with candles, flowers, and snap your fingers and shout, "Garçon!" Order the most expensive thing on the menu and take whatever presents he gives you. Keep smiling and telling him how much you love him. On the walk home pretend you are cold and ask for his jacket. Then on the doorstep, give him a kiss goodnight and say, "We're through. Never talk to me again." As you go inside, slam the door in his face. But before you slam the door in his face kick him in the stomach
This way you get a nice last meal and some presents. Plus, you won't have to deal with any post-breakup quarrels and arguments because there is no way he will speak to you ever again after that. This solution is quick, easy, and lasts forever. Don't worry about hurting his feelings; he will get over it. Eventually.
In all seriousness, though, if you are definitely going to get out of this relationship, do it sooner rather than later. There's no point in putting it off even if it is right before Valentine's Day. If you explain the situation and how you feel, then he will understand and probably be thankful it happened before Valentine's Day rather than after.
Also, there's nothing worse than sitting through a date that you don't really want to be on. Except maybe being forced to watch American Idol. I cringe just thinking about it.
So, as you know, Valentine's Day is almost here and I have a problem. I am in a relationship with this guy, but in all honesty, I am not happy with how things are. I want to get out of it, but I feel like it's not right to break up with him right before Valentine's Day. Talk about poor timing right? At the same time, though, I really don't want to have him take me out on some romantic date and buy me this nice present. I just want to get out of the relationship, but should I wait until a little while after Valentine's Day has passed?
Sincerely,
Loveless Liz
Dear Liz,
Here is what you should do: Get him to take you out on the greatest Valentine's Day date ever. I'm talking about a dinner with candles, flowers, and snap your fingers and shout, "Garçon!" Order the most expensive thing on the menu and take whatever presents he gives you. Keep smiling and telling him how much you love him. On the walk home pretend you are cold and ask for his jacket. Then on the doorstep, give him a kiss goodnight and say, "We're through. Never talk to me again." As you go inside, slam the door in his face. But before you slam the door in his face kick him in the stomach
This way you get a nice last meal and some presents. Plus, you won't have to deal with any post-breakup quarrels and arguments because there is no way he will speak to you ever again after that. This solution is quick, easy, and lasts forever. Don't worry about hurting his feelings; he will get over it. Eventually.
In all seriousness, though, if you are definitely going to get out of this relationship, do it sooner rather than later. There's no point in putting it off even if it is right before Valentine's Day. If you explain the situation and how you feel, then he will understand and probably be thankful it happened before Valentine's Day rather than after.
Also, there's nothing worse than sitting through a date that you don't really want to be on. Except maybe being forced to watch American Idol. I cringe just thinking about it.
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